November 10, 2014 - Make Mistakes Early

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead

Interesting comment from Tallulah Bankhead. Interesting person she was too. Google her and read about her.

I sat and thought about that for quite a while this morning and pondered it throughout the day as well.

I remember going through a rough patch with Linda a few years ago and saying I didn’t have any regrets. I changed my mind later during that period and once again changed back. I have no regrets. I believe being regretful is an emotion we all feel but to carry that emotion very far is useless.  If I carry regret it is for one of two reasons; either I did something I ought not have OR I didn’t do something I ought to have.

So I trained myself to not have regrets. How did I do that? It was a matter of recognizing the basis of my regrets. I then make a decision to either correct my action or take advantage of a situation.

In other words, I make a mistake and learn from it. One thing I have re-learned over the past few years is mistakes are good things. I remember being in public and high school and my teachers telling me I responded well to constructive criticism. And I did. I was brought up to see everything as a learning experience and that learning was growth and growth was good. College was not as constructive. The work force has been hideous.

When I got to the “real world” I found that the people I worked with either didn’t want me to succeed because they were my peers and were protecting their own interests or they were my supervisors and they didn’t want me excelling to protect their own interests.

This all conditioned me to look at mistakes as bad things rather that as opportunities for growth. I spent about 20 years in that poor mind set. It has takes me the past few years to re-condition my thinking to look at things as I used to.

So what does this mean as far as Tallulah Bankhead’s statement is concerned? I believe that had I not spent so much time regretting decisions, I would have looked at my decisions to figure out where I went “wrong” so I could move on.

Making mistakes is a given. I believe that certain personalities have certain set points as far as decision making is concerned. I also believe these set points can be changed. Improved. So if I had made my mistakes at closer intervals without wasting time on regrets, I would be further ahead in my personal growth.

I now look at all of my mistakes without regret and with a mindset of personal growth. I relish the opportunity to learn. And guess what, knowing I am going to make a mistake has made me think with more clarity and more focus. And the result is I am making fewer mistakes.

I suppose I do have one lingering regret – that is I wish I started this thinking mindset much earlier in my life!

Take care!