Wednesday, 27 November 2013

November 28, 2013 - To Whom Much is Given...



"To whom much is given, much is required."

I was reading the December 2013 issue of Success Magazine this morning when I came across an article about an NFL offensive lineman by the name of Matt Light. It was an amazing story. Matt Light never had watched an NFL game until the first one he played in.

Light ended his career as one of only five players to have started in five Superbowls, winning three of them. Light was the unsung hero of the teams he played with. His position and job is to guard their quarterback. In other words, stand and get hit – real hard – every game. That`s just the beginning of his story.

Light was diagnosed with Crohn`s disease (a horrible condition affecting the lining of the digestive tract. I have known a few people suffering from this disease - its pretty horrible). He, his doctors and the team management kept his disease under wraps. For a number of reasons the team wanted it kept under wraps but Matt never wanted an excuse for poor performance.

At one point, he had a terrible attack that left him on the floor writhing in pain. That attack ended up with him losing his appendix and some of his bowel. Due to complications, he was in the hospital for 28 days, he lost 50 pounds and his energy. With mad dog determination and the help of a nutritionist and others I am sure, he didn`t miss the season. In fact, he started all 16 games that season. And helped the Patriots to another Superbowl win. And this is just the middle of the story.

Light runs an amazing charity called the Light Foundation. Light recently  built a $6 million in Ohio near his hometown. Not only is the 400 acre site used by his foundation, it is offered to the YMCA and the Boy Scouts.

“Successful people aren’t successful just because. There are random acts of violence, random acts of genius... There are no random acts of success. It happens for a reason; there are ingredients. Some of that is just being relentless in your pursuit and having some intelligence. None of it matters, though, if you don’t have the ability to work harder than others around you.”

Wow. This guy is the penultimate unsung hero. He played ball in college and was drafted to the NFL. Growing up he preferred being outside to watching TV so he had never seen an NFL game until he played in the NFL.  He played a really tough position because of his size – Offensive Lineman. He played that position better than anyone else.  He is battling a terrible disorder – Crohn’s Disease.

I think I may think of Matt Light the next time I don’t feel like getting out of bed because I have a cold. I’m going to try to dig deeper into myself and pull more strength from my core. How many people do I see every day that are battling more than I can imagine. And succeeding. Remember – “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” – Earl Nightingale. Success is defined by the individual, not society.

Get this copy of Success – December 2013 – and read it for yourself.


November 27, 2013 - Invictus



“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

 

When I first heard these words I was awe struck. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. I am in charge of it all. All of it. Where I am, where I am going, it all is up to me. I am not only responsible for my life, I HAVE to be responsible for my life. Otherwise, I am one of the 95% that whines and complains about life.

 

 “I am the master of my fate.”

That means to me that I am in charge of where I am going. It also means I was in charge of what got me to where I am today. No excuses. I am not going to let anyone influence my drive to achieve my goals. Never.

 

I have to say, I used to be one of those people that blamed my circumstances, or other people for my lot in life. I was very hesitant to accept much responsibility about anything. 

 

A lot of people seem to sit by and let life pass them by. They blame what happens to them as being responsible for where they are in life. What these people do not understand is their life is a reflection of their reactions to what happens to them.

 

I look at the word “Master” and think of the master of a ship. I like Jim Rohn’s analogy of all of us being like a little sailboat. The same wind blows on us all, it is up to us to set our sail in order to get to our destination. The wind is whatever happens to us. The sail is our reaction to what happens to us.

 

Some people don’t react at well all and get blown off course. They get so wrapped up on some little thing they let it consume their psyche. They stew and worry and blame circumstance. They keep their sail in one spot and end up wherever the wind blows them, usually on the rocks.

 

Some people are so self unaware that they don’t even have their sails up. They float around bobbing along and never going anywhere, bouncing back and forth as the wind blows.

 

The smartest ones tack whatever way is necessary to get to their destination.

 

“I am the captain of my soul.”

To me, my soul is the stuff inside of me. It is personal. It is my driver. Those words mean to me that I have to guard and protect my soul. My soul is what will direct my actions to help me achieve my goals. I need to make sure that I allow no outside “force” affect my mind.

 

That brings to mind a proverb from King Solomon. “Guard your heart for it is the wells spring of life.” My heart. My mind. My soul. In reality, no one can hurt, my “feelings” unless I allow them to. I intend not to allow my emotions to rule my life any more.

 

Read on....

 

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley


November 26, 2013 - Courage to be Happy



Dr. Mark Van Doren writes, “It takes courage to be happy.”

I do not believe he is talking about the happiness felt sporadically during the day, I believe it is the happiness of looking at life as it being a happy experience.

Everyone has run into people who may have been handicapped by a disorder, or even an accident of some sort, and yet they approach life with tremendous optimism . This is an extreme example of what I am referring to but it is reflective of what I mean.

I used to work with a guy that was a real sad sack. I mean a REAL sad sack. When he entered a room, you could FEEL the energy leave the room. When our boss would buy lunch, he would complain there were olives on the pizza. (Instead of thanking the boss and pull the olives off).

I was once complimented by a manager of mine that I was a very energetic and optimistic person. I know that for a period of time, I started to let that attitude fail. Then I heard earl Nightingale talk about Dr. Mark Van Doren. Wow. Time to wake up.

When I start my day in a purposefully happy manner, the whole day usually goes well. When something “bad” happens, I reflect on what happened, if there is anything I can do to help fix it, or, sometimes it has no affect on me at all. It stays in my brain a second or two and I move on.

Each morning waiting for the snooze alarm to go off I spend that time reflecting on my life in a spirit of gratitude. I look at all of the things in my life and how grateful I am for them. By the time I get out of bed, I am looking at my life is a spirit of happiness. Each evening, as I am relaxing in bed and before falling asleep, I once again reflect on my life in a spirit of gratitude.

Some people look at my life now and wonder how I can be happy. I am not saying you should look at your life with giddiness, but with a lens of gratitude and happiness. Trust me, once you start doing that, happiness will follow.

By the way, do you know why you don’t run into very many people like that sad sack I told you about? They stay home and wallow in their self pity. Don’t scorn them, don’t think you are better than they are – help them if you can.

I hate to put this bug in your ear, but, “Don’t worry. Be happy”

November 25, 2013 - Tolerance of Negative Traits



Dr. Roger Berman writes, “We are least tolerant of those negative traits in others that we our self possess.”

Think about it, what is it that bothers you about someone you contact with – either a close contact or a casual one.  Observe your reactions and I am positive that you will become annoyed with that person and when you do, please reflect on yourself.

The first time I was told this, I thought it was interesting. Then several YEARS later I was told it again. And I stopped to reflect. ..

As I mentioned in a recent post, I have a negative person in my life, “M”. Well, in my journey to a better understanding of “M” I have discovered something that has helped me. I have tried to analyze myself and pull out all of the traits I believe are negative.

Once I was able to list my negative traits, I looked at them to identify WHY I felt they were negative. Usually, the traits I identified were valid – for example, I have a tendency to interrupt the other person when they are talking – especially if they are saying something I things is incorrect or I just disagree with.

What I am now trying to do is two fold:

First of all, I am trying to be more tolerant of those negative traits in others that I myself possess. That is easy. I was often told by my mother that I had a “quick temper” yet neither she nor my dad ever gave me any coping mechanisms. I have started to do what my teachers used to tell me – count to 10.....

While I am counting to 10 I ask myself why that feeling came upon me so quickly. As I am thinking (and I am at about 3 or 4) I can identify that negative trait in me I am reflecting onto the other person. By the time I reach 10 I have figured out what exactly has “set me off”.  A deep breath, a measures response and the conversation can continue.

The other thing I am trying to do is improve those negative traits I have. I feel that as I improve those traits to a point where when I am confronted with that trait in someone else, it won’t bother me. Let me explain this thought. I meet all sorts of people and some people are “rude” (I use the word rude as I cannot think of a better word to use) to me. I accept their “rudeness” as it being  part of them and just accept that. My wide once accused me of being more tolerant of “strangers” that my own family. Once I understood this theory, I have come to understand that is not true. It is the application of this theory in real life. My family has my negative traits, “We teach what we know, we reproduce what we are.”

I hope that as I continue this journey of growth, I will continue to feel better. I feel better about myself and more importantly, I believe I am feeling better about how I treat other people.


November 24, 2013 - Duty and Joy



“I slept and dreamt that life was Joy,
I woke and found that life was Duty.
I acted, and behold, I found that Duty is Joy”…

- Rabindranath Tagore. An Indian poet from Calcutta.

I heard Earl Nightingale quote this….

What does it mean to me?

A lot of people think that what they really want to do is sit and do nothing. I remember my dad saying all he wanted to do was sit and listen to the clock tick. He retired, sat and listened to the clock tick and essentially died not that long afterward. All his life he served, then he stopped, then he died…

So, what is Joy? I think Joy is that feeling you get when things have gone really well. In all areas of your life.

My “take away” from this is when you are progressively working toward your goal, no matter what, that you will feel joy. It really does not matter what your goal is, or where you are along that path.  Right now, I have a Big Hairy Audacious Goal that I work toward every day. No matter how small a task I work on to get there, I find Joy in performing that task.

Sometimes Duty is helping someone else out.  Sometimes duty is walking the dog. Sometimes duty is making dinner. When I am lying in bed at night reflecting on my gratitude, I often think about what gae me joy during the day.  Often it is remembering those things I did to help others.

I reflect on my time in Cub and Boy Scouts. “Do my duty…” Life saving training, “whomsoever you see in distress, recognize in him your fellow man.”

So what is my thought about this? Do unto others. Help. Don’t hinder. Be a guide, assistant, helper, seeker and you will find joy. Its easier than you think!