September 18, 2013 - Enthusiasm

I started teaching yesterday at White Oaks Secondary School in Oakville Ontario. I am teaching on behalf of Humber College. I go into the classroom to teach a college level course at high school. The students have the experience of the college experience in a "safe" environment. I am teaching Botany (Plant Science) this semester.

I have about 12 students. Perhaps 5 are engaged. 3 are putting in time and will likely put in time for the rest of their lives. 4 are either challenged, or have been told they are challenged and have accepted that label and are living it.

The 3 putting in time piss me off. They all have "comfortable" family lives but don't see what their parents had to do to get to where they are. All three are smart (I believe everyone is smart equally, and with the right motivation and teaching can excel) and have potential. They all want to "do something" rather than learn. And the "doing" they do is sloppy, ill prepared, and hardly ever cleaned up.

I am going to interrupt myself here and tell you I took a course last week. I should have been bored, as I "already knew everything". I had a blast and because I sat with a open mind - I LEARNED SOMETHING FASCINATING!

The 4 people that have been labelled "challenged" - well, I don't know what to say. One is absolutely smart. He is skilled in the practical application of the landscape trades and can explain verbally everything he is doing. He has a poor vocabulary, and I believe been intellectually beaten down by the establishment. The other three have similar experiences.

The five engaged ones take notes, listen, ask questions, participate. They have goals, although not likely to tell their peers. They are the silent majority.....

I gave them my favourite lecture. Enthusiasm. From the Greek en thios - or inner God. I told them they need to find their WHY for no matter what they do in life. When you have a WHY, the HOW just falls into place. It really is that simple. I haven't followed that for almost 25 years, but I have regained my course direction and am working that was as we speak.

The final part of my lecture on enthusiasm is the suffix of the word. IASM. That stands for I Am Self Motivated. Emerson said, "Do the thing and you shall have the power". I tell my students that day 1 of class it is easy to be motivated.The middle of the semester is when you have to dig deep, find your why, and get the work done. When you get the work done, the power will fill you.

I've enjoyed the past few years of reflecting on myself and changing myself. I am trying to become the man I want to be.

September 17, 2013 - Why Do I LET People Piss Me Off So Much

Or, how to overcome my own issues to accept people as they are, and get over myself...

One of my mentors has told me I have to get away from all of the negative people in my life. I have done so with one person. I have a relative of mine I need to keep close to me for obvious reasons. This person is the most negative, energy sucking caustic people I have ever met. Yet I must remain close to them.

One of my other mentors is helping me deal with this person. My mentor is encouraging me to look at the negative person, (Hey, let`s call that person “M”) in a light that will allow me to look into their past experiences. 

“M” is a very negative energy in my life. I am doing my very best to look past the negativity to see WHY this person is why they are. And I think I know some of the reasons....

Unfortunately, I am bringing my past experiences with “M”. I am not going to tell you what transgressions I fell have happened to me as my memory will change the actual events. And really, those events are unimportant.

I truly believe in what I am about to write. I honestly believe that the things that most piss me off that “M” does are things I do that piss me off...

I hope I have this name right... Dr. Roger Berkman said a couple of things I truly believe in. “We are we see others”, and he also said, “We are least tolerant of those negative traits in others that we ourselves possess.”

Crap.

You know what that means? What pisses me off the most about other people is what pisses myself off about myself. So, when the person who interrupts conversations so much bothers you.... that means YOU interrupt a lot!!!!!!!

So next time you are looking at someone and saying to yourself, “Man, I hate it when she does that!” Reflect on yourself and try to see where you do “that”, and stop doing it. All of a sudden, it won’t bother you when someone else does it....

Give it a try and see where it leads you. Maybe a more peaceful existence...

September 15, 2013 - The BIG Me Versus the Little Me

I have recently “discovered” Earl Nightingale. Ever since I started the latest phase of my “adult” life I have been reading, watching and listening to anything that will help me refine my life philosophy. By the way, Jim Rohn defines being an adult is when you finally realize and start to take responsibility for your own life. No one else or no circumstance is to blame for your success or lack of success. Mr. Nightingale is a terrific philosopher and guide. I suggest you look him up, you will be surprised – he is everywhere.

In what I listened to recently, he paraphrased an article by Marjorie Nagle (sic) called The Big Me Within. It was about the FACT that 99% of us are ruled by a Little Me.

Little Me is the Me that does what everyone else does so as not to attract attention to one’s self. Little Me is weak, thoughtless, scared and uninformed.

Think of high school, the kid that was bullied and you didn`t say anything or help out. Doing things or wearing things so you would fit in. At college, not calling a prof out for something you didn’t agree with or agreeing just to get the exam question right.  Think of work, and just producing what everyone else produces so you don’t “rock-the-boat”.  How about just remarking on a civil injustice rather than writing Parliament. The list goes on. And on. And on. And on.

Back to Caruso... He was about to get on stage for his first Aria when he was overcome with tremendous stage fright. He was spasming in fear. Sweating profusely. He recognized he would not be able to perform if he did not overcome his fright. He was struck with a thought, “The Little Me on the outside is strangling the Big Me on the inside”.

Caruso stood at the side of the stage and started whispering to himself; the rest of the cast and stage members thought he had flipped. He was whispering things like, “SHUT UP!”, “GET OUT”. By the time his cue came, the Little Me had been routed and the Big Me was in command. He proceeded to sing an Aria like no one had ever heard. He received a standing ovation and thus was launched one of the greatest operatic careers ever.

Only when Caruso recognized that a weak force was controlling him, and acted upon that, did the stronger force come through. And it is THE SAME FOR EVERYONE. And it is not just stage fright I am talking about. It is starting a new career, a new business, a new class, a first date...

Each of us is made of two forces. (Not quite Star Wars, but almost.) One force made of our talents, strengths and abilities the other force made of the cynic, the critic, the doubter all of which try to bury the good forces. One of these MUST win and when it is the Little Me it is because we don’t know and recognize our own strengths.

A tiger is being forced to sit on a stool by a little man with a chair.

Let your tiger out. If you don’t know your strengths, sit down with a paper and write out everything you can think of. If you can’t think of any, start asking your friends and family and you will have a list of strengths and abilities sooner than you can imagine. Once you have that list – start building on it - - and focus on them. As soon as that Little Me shows up when you are performing one of your strengths – point out to Little Me there is no more room in your life for him.

September 14, 2013 - How to Come to Grip With Yourself

Develop a healthy self image and find freedom in the world.

I was listening to Earl Nightingale today and he referred to a man by the name of Maxwell Maltz. “Uncle Max” outlined four steps that will help one develop a healthy self image. I see many people who do not have a healthy self image. You can see them too. They are the people who blame everything for their circumstances. They are the people who hate the world.

Maxwell Maltz’s Four Steps

1.       Forgive Others. Forgive them with absolutely no strings attached.

You do not hurt others when you hold hate against them; you hurt yourself.

Let go of all of what you perceive as any slight against you. This can be very difficult. But I can tell you from personal experience that once you let something go by forgiving someone, you will feel a sense of calmness come over you.

When holding anger, you will spend so much time thinking about negative things.  You will be wasting all of your creative imagination. Creative imagination should be used for positive, worthwhile things. No matter what you think the other person did to you, your imagination is reflecting on it and making it worse!

You have a worthwhile goal, right? Right? Use your creative imagination to work on realizing your goal!

2.       Forgive Yourself.

Look at yourself with kind eyes.

Forgive the pain you have caused others. Forget the pain you have caused yourself. Look at all of your strengths. You are a good person. Forget all of those small, insignificant things from your past you are not happy with. They are in the past. Gone. Forever. Chances are, whoever you may have hurt has long forgiven and forgotten. Focus on the good you can do.

3.       See yourself at your best.

We can start the day in frustration or in confidence. Take your pick.

Someone said, “Quit comparing your blooper reel to someone else’s highlights.” Everyone is inferior to everyone else in some ways and superior to everyone else in other ways. So what if you are not the best at something. You are terrific in some things. Focus on what you are good at.

Everyone has a “bad” day. Or do they? Remember, you control your own emotions. Things seem not to be going well, do what your mom told you to do; count to ten. What is happening to make this so called “bad” day. Chances are, if you look at the situation and apply theBest You, the day will change and turn out fr the best.

4.       Keep up with yourself.

Do not worry about what others are doing or have done.

Do what you want to do and do not worry about others. Remeber your worthwhile goal? Just be progressively working toward that and you will feel so much better – especially when you do not focus on what others are doing.

This was a something I did not do and one of the first things I did to “turn myself around”. I am a horticulturist. I am not making a lot of money. I would go to family functions and just sit and compare myself to those in very highly paid professions such as accounting and law. I would compare and feel like shit.

On my journey to happiness, I discovered the law of Keep Up With Yourself. Now I applaud their success, recognizing my own success. I love Earl Nightingales definition of success, which is, “The progessive realization of a worthwhile ideal (goal)”.

I first defined my goal, rock solid definition. Then, as I worked toward my goal, I saw my own success. I was recently presented with several occasions where someone else’s “success” was pushed toward me (by a very negative person I add). And honestly, I was expressively happy for that person’s success. But, I did not compare myself with them.

Be happy with yourself. Once you are happy with yourself, you will be happy with the universe. I am only a few years into my “self re creation” but it is a very good thing. Things that used to bother me are now no longer doing so. Did the things that bother me change? No. I am in the process of changing.